Days with Dessa
I just got home from a fun filled day of lunch and the children’s museum with old college girlfriends and their kids. I should rephrase that because these ladies were my bestest friends in college; the kind of friends whose lives I’ll always follow, even if just from a distance, and whose voices and stories I’ll never tire of hearing. I came home and Dessa was beyond exhausted from all the fun she had. While I was nursing her to sleep, I got so overwhelmed with how sweet a day it was I cried.
We live a lucky life where childcare isn’t a necessity. We live in a condo without many little kids in it. We have lots of cousins nearby but either we’re not close to them or they’re in their teens or beyond. So Dessa spends a lot of time with adults. She does go swimming once a week and we have a toddler tumbling class once a week where she sees other kids her age.
She lit up when she saw the other kids. She was amazed and completely entertained by them. And the oldest, a sweet 5-year-old girl, was so gentle with Dessa and guided her everywhere. Dessa was in heaven. It’s something I don’t often get to witness and really that she doesn’t often get to do.
After lunch we went to the children’s museum and it was just Dessa and my friend’s son. It is amazing how quickly and how sincerely children become attached to others. There’s no game playing or guessing; they like you or they don’t. They want to follow your every move or you just don’t matter. Dessa was enthralled with my friend’s son. She ran around calling for him whenever he was out of sight. It was the sweetest of sweets.
After I nursed her to bed and cried a bit more, I realized how these are the quiet days before our lives change forever. Our second child is about to arrive and we are in the last days of Dessa being an only child. I realized how precious today and the next several weeks will be. I want to capture it and save it and never forget how amazing it has been to be her parent. To shower her with everything we have, to take in her every breath and witness her becoming who she is. As fate would have it, I paid a visit to Simple Mom who led me to a daily blog favorite of mine. The post I linked to spoke to everything I’d just been feeling – needing urgently to capture a small, minute moment of a blessing so that one day I can remember it and treasure it and share it.
I’m so weepy tonight. I realize so much is about to change and I wonder and worry that I’ll lose a part of Dessa I never got to know. It’s a silly worry really because our lives are as they should be and that life is one where we grow our family by one this Spring. But I can’t help but be a bit sad to lose the time I have with Dessa as I know it. Our new little one is going to be a joy and to watch Dessa and her sister together is going to be something of a magnitude I cannot even fathom. I seriously think my heart might burst and I might run out of joyous tears.
Today was a great little treasure of a day. I’m going to hold it very, very tight to my heart.