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December 16, 2012 – 3:09 pm | 17 Comments

Childhood memories are vivid, almost indescribable in their detail, and impossible to forget. A Christmas memory I have is that of a black velvet dress  a family friend gave to me for my seventh Christmas.
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Home » dichos + del alma

del alma: Dichos of Encouragement

Submitted by on August 15, 2011 – 3:56 am24 Comments

Ay, mama. When you’ve walked through your own version of hell and survived the singe, it is hard to remember to keep your big boca closed about the benefits of implosions when friends are in the beginning of their own crisises.

You know the pat answers like: “Everything happens for a reason” and “Every cloud has a silver lining.” It is hard for me not to say these things, which can sound so pithy.

When someone I love is struggling, I seriously have to bite my tongue to not bust out the: “Lo que sucede conviene.” And even more so, my personal favorite dicho in tough times:

“No hay mal que por bien no venga.”

Translation: Bad stuff always brings some good.

That just is not, I repeat is not, what the person in crisis, the one you’re trying to encourage, wants to hear. But it is true. ‘Cause, really, otherwise it wouldn’t be a well-known dicho, right?

OK, sometimes, it totally is not applicable and some happenings are so beyond bad that saying such a thing to someone is unthinkable.

But, take a good look at all the bad stuff that ever has happened to you. Looking back, I bet some of it wasn’t even as bad as you believed it to be. And, for the most part, you’re OK now, right? Maybe even better than OK. You have gone on to luchar another day, better and stronger and smarter.

Some of you reading this may be thinking I am una loca descarada for even suggesting that good can come from bad. But, from where I have sat, it has been so true, and so true more than once.

I share this personal truth with friends who are struggling, especially at work and in relationship. The tough times push us forward, force reevaluation, and sometimes the outcomes don’t match what we originally wanted, but at least we are not stuck “back there” anymore.

Not too long ago, I listened to a friend cry on the phone. I shared details of my own tough times to offer strength and proof of good things to come. And I did say “No hay mal que por bien no venga” because, with this friend, I could.

My wish is that my friend heard what the age-old proverb offers: encouragement and light.

“No hay mal que por bien no venga.”

Y tu?

How do you encourage a friend in need?

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