I Know Love…is a Best Friend
Editor’s note: This week on the Tiki Tiki, in honor of Valentine’s Day, five writers finish this sentence “I know love…” Check in for their beautiful, inspiring essays.
I know love and all its fun and pop and glitz and bam! because I have best friends — a small circle of women with whom I have shared major moments — everything from finally getting breasts to marriage and babies.
With these women I have lived hilarity and hijinks, and deep talks, disappointments and darkness.
No questions, no judgments. Only the occasional “Get your head out of your rear, please.” These are the people for whom I would catch plane at a moment’s notice, the people for whom my love is fierce and proud.
If my friendships are concentric circles of varying tribes — like mom friends, work friends, neighbors — these women are the tightest circle, the closest circle to me. My committee. My Board of Directors. These are the people who will one day fully know how to answer “Why the hell was mom like that?” for my daughter.
In these friends especially, I experience a joy I get no other place, not even in marriage or motherhood. They feed an altogether different part of my soul. Maybe it’s the part of me that is comfortable stripping down naked to all my vulnerabilities, and knowing that these particular people, are good with that. They don’t blink. Ever.
While I am beginning to see the slight changes aging is bringing us all, I still see the girl whose bed I shared during hundreds of grade school and high school sleepovers; the 19-year-old who snuck into New York clubs with me; the 30-year-old who held my hand when I cried harder than I ever have cried.
I see them. I know them. They know me.
Distance and distractions have made us less accessible to each other. With some of them, months can go by without a phone call or a visit. But each time a reconnection is made, it is like not a day has gone by. Cliche, but de verdad.
And that is true love, sustaining love.
Best friend love.
And I know it.