I Know Love…is a Best Friend

best friends

One of the best friends the world ever has known...and me, 2006.

Editor’s note: This week on the Tiki Tiki, in honor of Valentine’s Day, five writers finish this sentence “I know love…” Check in for their beautiful, inspiring essays.

I know love and all its fun and pop and glitz and bam! because I have best friends — a small circle of women with whom I have shared major moments — everything from finally getting breasts to marriage and babies.

With these women I have lived hilarity and hijinks, and deep talks, disappointments and darkness.

No questions, no judgments. Only the occasional “Get your head out of your rear, please.” These are the people for whom I would catch plane at a moment’s notice, the people for whom my love is fierce and proud.

If my friendships are concentric circles of varying tribes — like mom friends, work friends, neighbors — these women are the tightest circle, the closest circle to me. My committee. My Board of Directors. These are the people who will one day fully know how to answer “Why the hell was mom like that?” for my daughter.

In these friends especially, I experience a joy I get no other place, not even in marriage or motherhood. They feed an altogether different part of my soul. Maybe it’s the part of me that is comfortable stripping down naked to all my vulnerabilities, and knowing that these particular people, are good with that. They don’t blink. Ever.

While I am beginning to see the slight changes aging is bringing us all, I still see the girl whose bed I shared during hundreds of grade school and high school sleepovers; the 19-year-old who snuck into New York clubs with me; the 30-year-old who held my hand when I cried harder than I ever have cried.

I see them. I know them. They know me.

Distance and distractions have made us less accessible to each other. With some of them, months can go by without a phone call or a visit. But each time a reconnection is made, it is like not a day has gone by. Cliche, but de verdad.

And that is true love, sustaining love.

Best friend love.

And I know it.

Share, por favor!

By Carrie on February 15, 2011 · Posted in the habla habla

18 Comments | Post Comment

Vera @ Lady and the Blog says:

So so so so so true.
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Posted on February 15th, 2011

angelica perez says:

The power of women as friends! I totally relate to your thoughts and experiences. Good and solid friendships have a way to sustain you, transform you and make you feel loved like no other. Beautiful post…
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Posted on February 15th, 2011

Stacey Hartmann says:

You are messing up my make up!!! What a beautiful post. You made my day and touched my heart, as you do on a weekly basis even though we live so far apart now. I cherish you and my close circle of women friends too. I remain amazed by you and all that is “you.” I thank God for you every day. Thank you for this gift of lovely writing!!

Posted on February 15th, 2011

Sue Valencia says:

Que lindo Carrie! And how fortunate are all those wonderful women to have you as their friend.
Yes, friends fill in a whole different space in our souls, so true!
Salud por las Amigas del Alma!
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Posted on February 15th, 2011

Real Life Sarah says:

No questions, no judgments. Only the occasional “Get your head out of your rear, please.”

I love my friends like this! They keep me grounded!
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Posted on February 15th, 2011

Tracy says:

You made me miss my best friend. We live too far apart :(

I love this “Love is…” series, Carrie.

Posted on February 15th, 2011

Carla says:

There’s magic in having friends like the ones you describe. I am lucky, so insanely lucky, to have friends like this. And I laughed out loud when you mentioned how there’s something in these relationships you can find nowhere else – not even as a mom or wife. My best friends get a laugh out of me no one else gets to hear. I hope to teach my daughters that one of the most important things you can do in life is to choose good friends. Loved this =)

Posted on February 15th, 2011

Tweets that mention I Know Love is A Best Friend -- Topsy.com says:

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Sue Valencia and Issa Mas, Carrie Ferguson Weir. Carrie Ferguson Weir said: A love letter to best friends…have you told them lately that you love them? http://ow.ly/3WJ13 [...]

Posted on February 15th, 2011

Blanca Stella says:

Friendships like these are priceless. I have been lucky in my life to have a few of these. Nice gems!
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Posted on February 15th, 2011

Roxana A. Soto says:

I got goosebumps while I read this because everything you say is absolutely true!

Beautifully said, Carrie.
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Posted on February 15th, 2011

Carrie says:

And now everyone knows you are the awesome blonde in the photo above!
Call you later.


Posted on February 15th, 2011

Lisel says:

These are the people that knew you when- and still know the true you now! What a beautiful way to celebrate them and the differences they made in you… :-)

Posted on February 15th, 2011

Lisa Renata says:

There is nothing like a best friend! I thank God everyday for the friends he has blessed me with. Especially one.

Thank you for sharing with us. Loved love loved the post.
Lisa Renata´s last [fabulousness] ..loving right now – amando en este momento

Posted on February 15th, 2011

Ana L. Flores says:

Beautiful post! I can completely relate to having circles of friends from different cities and stages in my life where each one has been fundamentally unique and special. I can spend many months with no contact and then, boom, we talk or see each other and distance/time has no relevance. We are real and we love.
You have become one of those treasured friends. One of those you know will just always be a part of your life story.
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Posted on February 16th, 2011

Mary Lynn C says:

My best friend and I have been friends since we were both 13, more than 45 years ago. We talk on the phone daily, and always have something to say. She knows me better than anyone else, and I think the same of her. She was very ill a few years ago, and I had to think what my life would be like wihtout her, and it was an intolerable thought.

Thank God, she was spared, and is still there to chat about our younger days and beaux, menopause and the miracles of our daily lives.

Posted on February 17th, 2011

Monica says:

Beautiful, mama. Best friends are a blessing.
How sad that not everyone has a best friend…
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Posted on February 23rd, 2011

Carrie says:

Thank you all for taking the time to read it and honoring friendship! My blogging friends are part of my soul too!

Posted on February 23rd, 2011

Laura Frank says:

Thank God for you, Carrie! :)

Posted on February 28th, 2011