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Black Velvet
December 16, 2012 – 3:09 pm | 17 Comments

Childhood memories are vivid, almost indescribable in their detail, and impossible to forget. A Christmas memory I have is that of a black velvet dress  a family friend gave to me for my seventh Christmas.
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Home » giveaways, headline, latest video post

Promoting Your Assets. (Spanx Giveaway!)

Submitted by on October 25, 2010 – 8:10 am51 Comments

Brilliant Bra by Assets

Contest Closed! The Winner is Yoly. She gets to hide her rollitos with Assets. Thanks all who contributed. Your stories were tremenda!

Click the headline to see the video about back fat. Oh yes. Back fat.

A few days before my 25th High School reunion this summer, I walked into that lingerie store that promises to make us all look like Gisele Bundchen and simply stated: “I need a strapless bra with the biggest band possible.’’

The mission: To minimize the part of my body that is taunting me in middle age — my back.

Not my backside. That’s old news. But, my back fat.

Masa! Rollito! Grasa! Ay, madre!

It has been taunting me for the last couple of years — and whether I am at my thinnest, or at my current stage of “I need to lose 5 pounds,” it is there.

And that is the bear of it, lo que me jode mas, that even at my thinnest, it is there. It looks like dough rising. Wuh.

And while it is easy to avoid seeing the big nalgas if you’re looking in the bathroom mirror, there is No Escaping The Back Fat. It is right there, you can see it as you turn to check your hair, as you make sure you stuck your belt through all the loops, as you tuck in your blouse. It sneaks into your peripheral vision and proceeds to annoy you, like a splinter you just can’t dig out. (Or is that just me?)

I felt good at my high school reunion, thanks in part to hours of water aerobics, a natural Tennessee tan, that gigantic-banded (and expensive) strapless bra, and a staple of my dress-up life: La Faja.

I don’t go anywhere fab without tucking myself into Assets Unbelieveable Underwear. I’ve used Assets, a Spanx brand, since they launched at Target.

I am shameless about this fact, and when I was complimented at the reunion, I gave credit where credit is due: “Swimming and Spanx, thank-you-very-much.” (Again, I was wearing the less-expensive Assets, but “Spanx” is like universal code for shapewear…and I like to rhyme.)

And you know what? Most of my classmates with whom I shared the giggle about controlling the jiggle showed me, or admitted, that they too were jiggle-free that evening thanks to their Spanx. (A couple of us even ended up in the bathroom at the same time and showed each other our Spanx, as in “Which one are you wearing?’’ Hey! Don’t judge me. Better than holding each other’s hair back over the toilet, right?)

So, when I met the people from Spanx at the Blogher Conference in NYC this summer, it was like meeting rock stars who sung the anthems of your youth…Spanx is singing the songs of my middle age.

During our chat, they told me about the brand new Brilliant Bra — a Back Fat minimizer! — and I got all crazy with joy. And, like a groupie who stands in line for three days for concert tickets, I begged for a sample and nearly cried with joy when the bra arrived in the mail.

Listen, I am gushing here. But they haven’t paid me for this rave and I have all those reporter ethics going on which keep me from saying anything nice about anyone unless it’s true. So believe me when I tell you that I Love This Bra.

It’s comfortable, makes my 43-year-old “personal assets’’ look perky fab and it smooths my back, allowing me one less body image thing to obsess over. I have since bought two more. There is no elastic in the back, so it doesn’t pinch la espalda. Hurrah.

So, because I know that unless you are stick figure you too have back fat, and because Latinas love shapewear (come on, admit it!), I convinced Spanx to give away a Brilliant Bra and a pair of Unbelieveable Underwear Super Control to one Tiki Tiki Reader. (The bra retails for $32 and the underwear for $18.)

The Rules:
Write a comment on this post telling us your shapewear story. It can be your own cuento, or memories of girdles past. You also can make me feel better by telling me about your own back fat.

Some ways to get Extra Credit by choosing one or any option and posting a separate comment for any that you do, so we can count it:

  • Tweet about it with the hashtag #nomasbackfat.
  • Share it on your personal Facebook Page so your friends will drop by, share a story and register to win.
  • “Like’’ Spanx, created by the genius that is Sara Blakely, at their Facebook Fan Page and leave a comment or suggestion. Tell them The Tiki Tiki Blog sent you! (You’ll learn about deals and new products via their Page.)

Contest Ends at midnight CST Sunday, Oct. 31. You must have a U.S. mailing address.

The winner will be selected at random and will have 72 hours to respond via email, or a new winner will be selected.

OK, good luck and share the cuentos!

The Brilliant Bra conceals the hooks for a smooth look.

Caracas, Venezuela

Disclosure: This post is a fan-based rave and I was not financially compensated for writing it. Spanx, Inc. provided a sample bra for review. The opinions expressed are mine and true. The back fat is real too.

Share, por favor!