The Soft Resolution
During this time of year, when we make our lists, assess our lives, set our goals, I have decided to focus on what I have come to call a “soft resolution.”
A soft resolution is one that I know I’ll keep. It’s not a hard hitter. Not one that will get me closer to any of my professional or educational goals; but a resolution that will help me fill in the soft parts of my life that have been mistakenly left to chance.
The soft parts of my life are my children, my family. I feel like time is running through my hands, and my children know so little about me. They know me as their mother, I have been with them more than any other person they know. And though they see me daily, they know so little about me.
My soft resolution this year is to help them get to know me better through the music that has been important in my life.
I grew up in a Spanish-speaking household. My mother and grandmother played the records they brought with them to America from Colombia so much of the time. I remember coloring and playing dolls while Pedro Infante, Guillermo Portables, Lupita Palomera played in the background.
Their music always made me feel at peace, and like I belonged. When I was away at school, or at a friend’s house, I always felt as if I were stepping in on someone else’s culture. But when I was home, and this music played in the background, I felt solid in who I was.
I want my children to know about the music I grew up with and how it made me feel. I want them to know this about me. I want them to hear more of this music, more often. I want to bring this part of me into their lives softly. I’ve played some of Infante’s songs in the car a few times, to some pretty amazing reactions.
My three boys liked it. Not for long, never longer than one song at a time; but they liked it.
They say it makes them feel good, and like there’s a part of them in that music that they forget they were about.
I know just what they mean.